So, you managed to get that hot girls number, but what’s next? Right after the waves of triumph and excitement ebb away, most guys face the conundrum of what to text a girl after you get her number.
Of course, the fact she bothered to share her contact information with you in the first place means you did something right. But, do not discount the fact that the first text message is your second chance at making a great first impression; it needs to be done just right.
Impression is a powerful concept most men don’t pay enough attention to. The Girlfriend Activation System, the web’s most successful course at helping men get incredible girlfriends, even devotes 3 complete video modules to the topic of impression. These include 2 modules on making a great first impression as well as a module on resetting impression if a woman places you in the friend zone or has rejected you in the past.
Now, before you mull too much over what to text a woman after you get her number, know this….
Mindset is what it’s all about. Many start with a chaste “Hello or Hi”, which is safe but boring or with “Hi, it’s (name)”. This sounds like you really have nothing more to say.
Then, there is a third group of men who rely on, “Hi, remember me?”. However, they fail to ponder over what happens if she responds with, “No, who are you?” Talk about dousing the embers of love with ice-cold water.
What you need here is the 3 “F” mindset! Or this seriously good texting course.
FUNNY: Nothing works better than humor. Your text message should get her to laugh or at least crack a smile, so she starts reminiscing about the good time she had chatting with you before she gave you her number. However, make sure your message is actually HUMOROUS, not CRASS.
FLIRTY: If you like a girl, it makes sense to tease and flirt with her. In fact, this is the best way to build the sexual tension which will motivate her to consider meeting you again.
FAMILIAR: You don’t want to go back to square one, so just pretend like the text message is an extension of the conversation you had with her earlier.
Instead of the ho-hum messages mentioned up above, try these:
You being funny and complimenting her at the same time: “So, how many other guys asked for your number last night? If you say less than 10 or more than 20, I won’t believe you.”
For familiarity, talk about one of her hobbies: “Your favorite trail? (if she likes hiking) or Peanut or Plain? (if she has expressed her love of MnMs).”
For flirty: “I want to tell you a secret. I met this really cute girl yesterday. Her name is (name of the girl you are texting) and I am going to ask her out for dinner/drinks/coffee/movie.”
What Not To Do
Do not be the text tease: According to the folks at Cosmopolitan, text teasing is among the 10 most annoying texting habits. To understand why, you need to know how the texting teaser operates.
He starts by sending an open ended question such as, “What does the rest of the week look like?” or “What are your plans for the weekend?”, which obviously hint at an impending “date” question.
She responds with “Not too busy” or “Nothing”, throwing the ball in his court to which he replies, “OK, cool” or “Alright”. This leaves her perplexed and sends out a clear message you are not sure about how you want to proceed.
Do not be the serial texter: Huffington Post calls this one of the most irritating texting behaviors, and it definitely reeks of desperation. This rule is very simple: send her a message or two and then wait for her to respond. Do not try to compel her to respond by flooding her phone with messages.
Don’t be a letch: Sexist jokes, pictures of genitalia, and even the most casually given compliment about her body parts are going to make you seem like a letch. These types of texts are definitely out.
What To Text A Girl After You Get Her Number
Get straight to the point: If you had the chance to talk to her for a while before she gave you her number, there is no need to spend too much time in general chit-chat. After all, this whole digital courtship ritual is to score a date, so why not just ask?
Try something like, “Have you been to that new Italian Place?” (assuming she likes Italian food). Once she responds with “Yes” or “No”, reply with something like, “I’m headed there Friday. Want to come with?”
Confidence is the name of the game: You got her number because she thought you had potential, so work that charm and take a direct approach with a text like, “Hey, I’d love to take you out with me on Friday. Does (name of popular restaurant/bar) sound good?”
Curiosity works every time: She won’t know what hit her, but you will get what you want with this one.
Tell her a story, but only half of it. You want to pique her interest, so make it exciting. She is bound to text back and ask for the rest. That’s when you say she gets to hear the remaining story only when she meets you for drinks/coffee/dinner.
Questions keep the conversation going: If you want to take things slow, questions are the best way to keep her interested. Anything related to what you spoke about or were doing before the number exchange will do.
Alternatively, you could try something more general like, “You originally from Boston?” If you met her at the store, try, “So did you find anything interesting…besides me…at the retail outlet yesterday?”
Finally, remember to relax and play it cool. You don’t want to sound needy, unsure, controlling, or domineering in your texts. Don’t over-think the process and don’t over-analyze her texts, and you should have no problem keeping her interest after you get her number.